Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

*Sigh* I miss my brothers. I never thought I'd say that, but I do.

On Sunday we had neighbor friends over for dinner and got talking about our childhoods. Our friend Steve grew up in a big family in rural California and regaled us with tales of dog attacks, 4-H gun projects, reaching into the septic tank for repairs, and sleeping in the barn with his 5 brothers. We sat around the table laughing so hard at his funny memories and the relish with which he told them. The girls were shocked, fascinated and completely hooked. I told Steve he was a total dirthead and only later realized he probably doesn't know what I meant by that.

Being a dirthead (more on the definition below) is pretty standard behavior for my 5 brothers and they are, in fact, proud of this. Listening to Steve, his wife Kim, and our friend Becky (both women grew up with only brothers), it made me miss mine. The sarcasm, puns, stories, silly accents, and dramatic re-enactments that bring me to laughing tears every time we're together.

For the first time ever, I really thought about what our girls might miss out on by not having brothers. I'm still thinking about what that means.

And just to preserve for posterity and confused friends, I'm including some definitive information.

'Dirthead', 'being dirty', 'being ugly'...these are all phrases from our family lexicon that essentially mean the same thing, but it's really hard to describe it. It's more a feeling and a way of being, than something exact. Basically, ALL of the characters in Napoleon Dynamite are dirty and ugly in some way. I appealed to my brothers for a definition, and got this response from John:

"It is difficult to give a precise definition of the term dirthead and is therefore generally more productive to illustrate typical actions of a dirthead. These include, but are by no means limited to:
Drinking "almost" all of the milk in the carton so you don't have to throw it away

-Any excessive pelvic gyrations while dancing (to the extent that ANY pelvic gyrations aren't excessive)

-Eating stuff off the ground or eating peoples' leftovers that you don't know

-Forwarding most mass e-mails is common dirtheadery

-Any shameful laughing that is "breathy" or results in the dirty smoker's cough

-Speaking in hood slang as a white person "I'm down wit lunch yo, cuz I gotta ax u somem'."

-Eating ribs for breakfast

-Any feigned interest in a product you are sampling at the grocery store

-Shimmying

-Eavesdropping on conversations while feigning to shop, work, or exercise

-Pretending to be asleep to get out of chores

-Using an olfactory "sniff test" to determine the healthiness or cleanliness of questionable food or clothing

Are you a dirthead too?