I distinctly remember the first time I heard Jim Croce's "Time in a Bottle"-- during an ABC Afterschool Special (remember those?) about drunk driving. I thought it was such a sad and lovely song. It is true that "there never seems to be enough time to do the things that you want to do".
Lately I've been feeling like there's not enough of me for everyone and everything that needs my attention. After a particularly trying day last week, I collapsed into bed in tears about all the things that get left "undone" each day. I told Rob, "I feel like our kids aren't getting what they need from me, but there's no more of me to give!"
He asked if I had felt neglected growing up in a family of 8 children. I didn't. But then I observed that I spend the majority of my time dealing with the needs of my oldest and youngest children, The middle two don't demand as much attention, so they don't get it. I realized that I was one of the demanding types and wouldn't have allowed my parents to neglect me (even if they had wanted to)!
Next I asked a friend who is the 4th of 8 children. "Did you feel lost in the crowd of children? Do you feel like you got enough attention?" She replied, "I didn't even realize personal attention was an option, so I never missed it." I laughed but then I kind of felt like crying.
I don't want to "save every day 'til eternity passes away", I just want to pull out an extra bottle of Time at 4:30 pm when 3 kids are doing homework & practicing piano, the 2-year old is having a meltdown and I'm trying to make dinner. This on the heels of last week's post about using time wisely....still working on ideas for this one. Let me know if you have any.
Shuffling
5 years ago
4 comments:
The first thought that came to my mind when I started reading was a huge laugh because I remember doing the very same thing many times. Isn't it great to have husbands who nurture and build us up. You are great! Now on the way home from Italy when you are feeling refreshed and excited to see your kids, don't make the second mistake and plan in your mind all of the things you are going to do to make life more meaningful. It will all go out the window after the second day. Just remember, enjoy the journey. That's why we have the atonement, He makes up for all of the spaces in our lives when we can't do it alone. I love you. Mom
Have you looked into getting an extra husband? I've been looking into that and maybe we could get a deal if we bartered together.
Your last two posts have been so thought provoking. . .I'm still pondering them. . . Sounds like how I feel A LOT!! And your mom's response made me cry. Maybe because it's just what my mom would reply to me saying the same thing, and maybe the name similarity had something to do with it. Anyway, I wish you would just come hang out with me, or we could go get a frozen yogurt, like old times!
Send that 2 year old up the street to play with us so you can just enjoy your other three for awhile! Seriously, we'd love to have her come ride bikes and chase the dog with us for an hour. :)
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