This weekend Maddie got one of those dreaded lectures from her parents about her performance in school. "You're not living up to your potential". I say 'dreaded' because it involved lots of eye rolling and stony silence on her part. Lots of anxiety, planning, and discussion on our part. I mostly say it because I remember really hating this particular lecture from my own parents. I knew I could do better, but I frankly didn't care at times. It was obvious that Maddie felt the same. Now I feel the frustration of a parent who knows their child is smart and competent, but doesn't use their time and resources wisely to accomplish what needs to be done.Flash forward to this morning. I'm in a funk. Tired, bored, overwhelmed, house is a wreck, I feel fat, etc. Don't want to do the 25 things on my to-do list because they're not things I really care about doing. I want to make cookies and get back in my pajamas and my bed. Rob asked, "Are you okay?" and I responded, "I don't want to do my life today. Can you be me for a day?" Dang, he didn't want to be me.
The obvious comparison has hit me within the last hour. I procrastinate, don't use my time wisely, focus on less important things. "Potential" is a nebulous idea and it's hard to always be focused, dedicated, and consistent about improving yourself or working toward your goals. How would I feel if someone was constantly pointing out all the ways in which I'm 'lacking'--falling short of my potential? (Stony silence from me too.) I think, "I'm doing the best I can, okay?" But honestly, this week isn't my best work. Not by a long shot.
I'm debating whether or not it would motivate me to get a lecture from my parents at this point. It's been so long, I'm not sure I remember how to roll my eyes. Oh wait, I just did it.
**This picture of Maddie is 2.5 yrs. old. She's much more sophisticated now.
6 comments:
It's a melancholy day for us too. Mom and dad just left our house for the airport. Two of their three bags were lost en route to Chicago...never recovered.
Anyhow, I don't envy your position. It's a lot easier to be a parent when the only potential your kids have to live up to is giving you hugs and kisses and saying please and thank you.
Good luck with Maddie. And remember, the most important potential is divine.
p.s. Grandkids have ruined any backbone mom and dad ever had. It would be no use to get a lecture from them. The only thing they expected out of me this week is that I ate a large portion of the scones and honey butter they made me.
ME TOO!
This morning John was getting ready to leave for work and was hesitant to leave me in such a funk. He didn't acutally do much about it but make me stand up and go to the kitchen where I was at least near food (I still needed to eat breakfast), but that did help some. I feel so much better when I'm getting things done one my list but when none of them are fun things it's just too discouraging. Bleah! to today. It's sunny too. Maybe I should go pick flowers and then come back in and make dreaded phone calls.
Potential Shpotential- just kidding. isn't it funny though, how easy it is to see what others should be doing but so hard to get the motivation on some days to do all that we should do.
can I please get some motivation and potential too?
I guess I need your parents back too. :) They won't lecture me though...just help me whenever and wherever. You have amazing parents don't you think?
I think maddie will say that about you too. Maybe not today with fun lectures... :)
Potential is eternal which puts things in perspective. I don't think any of us know what potential we really have but it is amazing these children that are coming to earth at this time. I loved the visiting teaching this month about nurishing the rising generation. Elder Maxwell said something that made me think about my own children. I remember thinking as I was raising these five bright coureous kids. I just want to protect them and live in the back woods, home school and be away from the evil influences. But now I am glad I did not do that because if I had protected them and they didn't have the experiences of choosing for themselves they never would be the parents they are today. The parents of today need to be strong for the strength of the children coming now was as Elder Maxwell said reserved to come forth today indicating they were the ones that could handle the problems of today. So parents of Maddie keep up the good work. You are there because you are strong and you can teach and direct her strong spirit in the right ways. Love you I know how hard it is remember I was Rob's mom. Talk about a spirit that was already thirty years older than I in knowledge. Love Mom
Did anyone else wonder why there was a picture of Sarah Jane at the top of this post when the whole thing talks about Maddie? It wasn't until I read your final note Flo that it all clicked. Kids are so much easier to love when they're little. If you need to, ship her off to camp Herriman. We'll straighter her right out :)
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