Time in a Bottle

I distinctly remember the first time I heard Jim Croce's "Time in a Bottle"-- during an ABC Afterschool Special (remember those?) about drunk driving. I thought it was such a sad and lovely song. It is true that "there never seems to be enough time to do the things that you want to do".

Lately I've been feeling like there's not enough of me for everyone and everything that needs my attention. After a particularly trying day last week, I collapsed into bed in tears about all the things that get left "undone" each day. I told Rob, "I feel like our kids aren't getting what they need from me, but there's no more of me to give!"

He asked if I had felt neglected growing up in a family of 8 children. I didn't. But then I observed that I spend the majority of my time dealing with the needs of my oldest and youngest children, The middle two don't demand as much attention, so they don't get it. I realized that I was one of the demanding types and wouldn't have allowed my parents to neglect me (even if they had wanted to)!

Next I asked a friend who is the 4th of 8 children. "Did you feel lost in the crowd of children? Do you feel like you got enough attention?" She replied, "I didn't even realize personal attention was an option, so I never missed it." I laughed but then I kind of felt like crying.

I don't want to "save every day 'til eternity passes away", I just want to pull out an extra bottle of Time at 4:30 pm when 3 kids are doing homework & practicing piano, the 2-year old is having a meltdown and I'm trying to make dinner. This on the heels of last week's post about using time wisely....still working on ideas for this one. Let me know if you have any.

Living up to Potential

This weekend Maddie got one of those dreaded lectures from her parents about her performance in school. "You're not living up to your potential". I say 'dreaded' because it involved lots of eye rolling and stony silence on her part. Lots of anxiety, planning, and discussion on our part. I mostly say it because I remember really hating this particular lecture from my own parents. I knew I could do better, but I frankly didn't care at times. It was obvious that Maddie felt the same. Now I feel the frustration of a parent who knows their child is smart and competent, but doesn't use their time and resources wisely to accomplish what needs to be done.

Flash forward to this morning. I'm in a funk. Tired, bored, overwhelmed, house is a wreck, I feel fat, etc. Don't want to do the 25 things on my to-do list because they're not things I really care about doing. I want to make cookies and get back in my pajamas and my bed. Rob asked, "Are you okay?" and I responded, "I don't want to do my life today. Can you be me for a day?" Dang, he didn't want to be me.

The obvious comparison has hit me within the last hour. I procrastinate, don't use my time wisely, focus on less important things. "Potential" is a nebulous idea and it's hard to always be focused, dedicated, and consistent about improving yourself or working toward your goals. How would I feel if someone was constantly pointing out all the ways in which I'm 'lacking'--falling short of my potential? (Stony silence from me too.) I think, "I'm doing the best I can, okay?" But honestly, this week isn't my best work. Not by a long shot.

I'm debating whether or not it would motivate me to get a lecture from my parents at this point. It's been so long, I'm not sure I remember how to roll my eyes. Oh wait, I just did it.

**This picture of Maddie is 2.5 yrs. old. She's much more sophisticated now.

Murphy's Law

I clearly remember my dad explaining 'Murphy's Law' to me when I was 9 or 10. I was fascinated by (as Wiki says) "the perceived perversity of the universe".

Today was a perfect case in point. We were scheduled to meet Rob's parents and his sister Susan and her family in the Blue Ridge mountains. We had a full day of apple picking, picnicing, hiking, and browsing planned. And after a full week of lovely fall weather, today was very chilly and rainy. Why, universe, why?

Actually, it turned out to be a pretty fun day, though we were chilled and soggy by the end. We lingered over lunch, dawdled in a fun toy store, and huddled around a box of hot cider doughnuts at the orchard. We did call it quits on picking and bought pre-picked apples. They're still fresh, right?

So if Murphy's law is "anything that can go wrong will go wrong", I'm wondering if there's a phrase for the opposite--when everything that can go right, goes right.

Due to an amazingly wonderful confluence of events, Rob and I are going to Italy in December!! He has been invited to a conference in Turin and then we'll take the train down to Florence. I've always wanted to go to Florence. It's my name. I have to go. It's my new law.

Love is Spoken Here

My favorite musical number from General Conference last weekend was "Love is Spoken Here" near the end of the Sunday morning session. It brought back happy memories of singing with my family growing up. Including parents, we had a total of 4 girls and 6 boys, so we could pull off a pretty good version of this number and frequently sang it for Family Home Evening, dinner guests, family gatherings, and I think we even sang in church a time or two. I'm certain that I rolled my eyes more than once at my Dad's request for us to sing together (sorry Dad) and I probably made disparaging comments (sorry everyone else) about our performances. But years later, my heart lights up when I hear this song and makes me really miss those times and the feelings of togetherness that come from being part of a family.

My parents' example of faith, love, perseverance, charity and service is a constant in my life and I am thankful for it every day. I feel so blessed to have grown up in a home where love was spoken and taught. I agree with the lyrics about the power of example and the reminder that the Savior is near when we speak in love. When I have happy memories from my childhood, it always makes me wonder what our children will remember from their growing-up years.


(Girls) I see my mother kneeling with our family each day.
I hear the words she whispers as she bows her head to pray.
Her plea to the Father quiets all my fears,
And I am thankful love is spoken here.

(Boys) Mine is a home where ev’ry hour is blessed by the strength of priesthood pow’r,
With father and mother leading the way,
Teaching me how to trust and obey;
And the things they teach are crystal clear,
For love is spoken here.

[ending together] I can often feel the Savior near
When love is spoken here.

“Love Is Spoken Here,” Children’s Songbook of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 190–91, Words and music: Janice Kapp Perry